an anchor for my soul

Kimono PJ's

2010-02-20T11:44:00.003-06:00

I finished a cute little birthday present for our 1 year old neighbor. She had a lady-bug party, so I made her a stuffed lady-bug and kimono style pajamas. Turned out pretty cute.

Patterns for both the outfit and toy I got from Amy Butler's book, Little Stitches for Little Ones. The fabric is also Amy Butler, midwest modern, ivory floating buds.

Hopefully my neighbor will send a photo of her wearing it. :) She's way cuter than the project, anyway.

Finished!

2009-12-05T22:02:00.003-06:00

I finished two major projects:

1. The blankets for the soldiers. Whew. So glad to be done, so glad to be a part of it. I felt so humbled as I prayed while sewing for those who sacrifice so much.

Abbie kept asking if I was done with the blankets for the knights. So sweet. I kept telling her that they were soldiers, not knights. She finally announced "Well, they are knights to me, mom." Amen, sweetie. Amen.

2. The Thanksgiving countdown! I did actually finish it in time for us to do it a few times before Thanksgiving. It will certainly have more use in the future.

Between these two projects, I am now an official applique master. Seriously.

Now for the rest of my projects ... :)

Flu Care Package

2009-12-05T21:22:00.007-06:00

With so many people out with the flu I came up with a fun little care package to drop with friends who have little ones!

The basket that this went to had three kids so I went into the dollar bin at Target and made each of the kids "peace pails" with a few novelty toys.

There were a few "Smith-flix" for the family to borrow and shake things up a bit. 3 for the kids, 2 for mom.

Another fun idea is to sew button holes into wash cloths and pair it with some of those hooks that won't damage the wall. It's great for kids to use as hand towels after they wash their hands - keeps the germs at bay (or at least a little more isolated!).

The water bottles and soap were part of a fun game for the kids.

1. Drink water.

2. Cut bottles off at bottom half

3. Cut washcloth in thirds, and attach to the bottles with rubber bands.

4. In tupperware bowl, put a few tablespoons of dish soap with water. Dip bottles into soap and then let the kids blow bubbles through the mouth of the bottle.

I put everything together in a big laundry plastic bin, with tags on each small gift bag.

Add a prayer, a hug, and a note of encouragement and it's set to go!

Blankets for the 134th

2009-11-20T09:30:00.002-06:00

My friend is serving with the "Red Bull" infantry division and is currently in Germany working at the hospital. She emailed me asking for blankets and hats for the soldiers there, and I was thrilled to have such a great project to work on.

I am so excited about the help I've received. Quilters Haven in Rosemount offered to promote the project if I'd supply the materials. The customers there have agreed to do almost ALL of the blankets! WOW! Abbie and I are taking this awesome group of women some cookies this morning in an effort to say thanks. The shop also found someone who is willing to embroider some hats with the red bull logo. What a beautiful community.

I'm hoping that this makes for some happy soldiers this Christmas.

T@rget Stories

2009-11-15T18:56:00.004-06:00

Every mom I know has a Trgt story. You know, one where things went so wrong you thought you might have to switch to a Target down the road? Well, here's one of my worst.

I was trying to use a gift card to purchase something that we couldn't afford if it wasn't for that card. It was right after we had returned from Tokyo and I had Abbie in the baby bjorn (2mos), Clara (14mos) in the front of the cart, and Stephen (almost 3) in the back.

I had bought Clara and Stephen popcorn with the idea that if their mouths were full they wouldn't make those new screeching noises they had just learned at the church nursery. I got the popcorn, gave them each a bag, and then raced like a maniac through the store trying to get everything on my list that I possibly could before the bags were empty.

Also, Abbie was taking one of her rare naps while dealing with reflux. So you understand that my clock was ticking urgently. Mt. Vesuvius would wait for no one.

I made it through the store with two "3 year old fistsfulls" of popcorn to spare. We pulled into our check out lane, me sweating and close to swearing, fighting post-partum unawares. Stephen, with a gleeful screech, THREW the contents of his popcorn bag. I had felt like success was SO close, only to be thrown in little kernels down the aisle. As I leaned down to begin picking up the pieces while the checkout girl chewed her gum and watched, I felt the Stephen's paper bag come flying on my head - with another gleeful screech.

If I hadn't been at my absolute bottom, I probably would have laughed at the absurdity. As it was, I was praying that the popcorn smell and the up and down motions wouldn't wake Abbie and make her barf down my shirt.

The checkout girl rang up my order, and I handed her my precious gift card. Now, this card was from a return I made at the beginning of my shopping trip. It had about $30 on it and I had counted every bit of it using sales and specials. I knew Brian would be proud of my frugality. The girl swiped the card - and only $6 came off my total.

WELL.

I took a deep breath. And another. Smacking gum girl looked at me a little warily.

I slowly, deliberately explained that there was a mistake and began to frantically look for the receipt that would give me some credibility. Stephen and Clara (popcorn gone) began attempting to harmonize their screeches.

Gum girl slowly reach her right hand out and flip on the "help me please, crazy woman here" light. A manager appeared shortly. A manager who obviously had no children, no sympathy, and no charm. She used small words to explain to me that I was only going to get $6 from my card.

That was it. The dam burst. I began crying. Then sobbing. Then some little giggles came out with the tears.

Gum girl and Mean manager each took a step back. Seriously. They stepped back away from me and continued to hold their ground regarding the $24. Stephen and Clara briefly stopped their screeching, only to begin again in a valiant attempt to sing a lullaby to me.

I swiped my debit card, silently praying that God would make the $24 appear in my account. It cleared, I packed up my things through my tears, and walked out of there completely defeated.

A friend, Jen was so wonderful to me during that time. I can remember showing up at a Bible Study she was leading - and bursting into tears every time someone would ask me how I was.

My parents had moved out of town and I felt completely alone. Who can you be that vulnerable with and ask for help that you can't even fathom returning? Betsy, Emily, and Teresa to the rescue (along with Jen). They started alternating days to take my kids and give me breaks. It was truly a time where I sucked the church family dry for everything I could.

It got better.

I got better.

And sweet Jesus began to show me how much He wanted me to be in a real 2 -way relationship with Him.

Looking back it was a wonderful time of growth and pruning. But I sure felt naked for awhile. Nasty Trgt runs included.

Give Thanks

2009-11-03T09:50:00.002-06:00

This is such a great idea. I think that Abbie and I will try and pull it off today and start a new family tradition!

Another project ... Stephen made a book all about holidays. I suggested that he and I make one about the feasts of Israel. We'll see if we get it all done ... So many projects, so little time. :)

Hello Kitty Costume

2009-10-25T11:01:00.028-05:00

October is costume time - and this year Clara asked to be Hello Kitty.

Just in case you aren't up on Kindergarten costume selection ... this costume doesn't exist. Well, it does. It's just not exactly what we were hoping for. And it's sold out.

Enter: Mom and a sewing machine.

There were a few guidelines that Clara requested. First, it needed to look like the Hello Kitty doll she got from Build-a-Bear with her Noni. Second, the costume needed to have a pink dress with white polka-dots.

OK.

I started with white fleece. Using a super easy Simplicity Pattern, I made her a pair of white pants and a white long-sleeved T-shirt. Not too tough. And outside in MN friendly.

Then I found another easy (read: cheap) pattern for a jumper, and

I happened to have some left over pink silky material. I made the little jumper with some extra room to fit over the fleece top and bottom. On the bottom hem of the jumper, I put a band of 2 inches wide stabilizer to give it that cartoony feel. Then I added some white dots using the leftover white fleece and some fusible webbing.

A Mason Jar lid served well for the big circles and the small circles (inside and outside of lid). I should have stitched the circles on after fusing them on the dress - but I was out of time and not feeling too hot.

After the outfit was complete I covered a headband with white fleece.

For the ears, I made little 4 inch squares, cut on the

diagonal to make triangles, then rounded them off, sewed them together, and placed them between two strips of fleece. Sounds more complicated than it is. Maybe I'll try a tutorial of this. :) Maybe. Anyway, finished covering the headband using a glue gun and maybe a few burned fingertips.

The Build-a-Bear Kitty that Clara has actually has a velcro attached bow. Amen. Amen. Amen. I just sewed a piece of velcro backing to the headband and it was done!

We used the bow from her kitty on her headband - adding to the validity of the costume for Clara.

To finish the ensemble, we got some Hello Kitty slippers at Target and she's set! I think it turned out pretty fun. The only thing we'll have to add is some yellow face paint on her nose.

Voila! She's SO cute. :) Here she is at her school costume parade and fall party.

Up next: Abbie as Maid Miriam.

Bronchitis Boredom

2009-10-25T10:17:00.010-05:00

Since being diagnosed with bronchitis on Friday I've been on a sort of bed rest. Moving and talking (hollering) to the kids seems to make my cough worse, which means my breathing becomes labored, and then it's all down hill. So sweet hubby has taken on the role of mom and dad hoping I'll be ready to slowly start back into life on Monday.

He even scrubbed the bathrooms and the floors.

Settle down ladies - he's taken. :)

Anyway, while in bed it's driving me crazy just sitting here. I've totally caught up on episodes of "The Closer" and "The Office," read a Ted Dekker book, and am halfway through Jeannette Walls new book (which is fabulous, by the way), "Half Broke Horses." So what's a girl to do?

Back to the sewing roots I went. Basic embroidery. I got the idea from this post a while ago and wanted to try it but didn't have the time. Now I have the time.

I had an iron on transfer pencil and found various designs I like online. I found that stamps have great outlines and some of the pics were easy to outline and transfer, then to stitch.

This one turned out pretty cute.

I think I'll put a few of these as little pockets

on totes. Cute little gifts for teachers and friends.

Speaking of teachers, I made two for Abbie's mom's day out teachers. Her class is called blue whales. You can probably guess what I made. :)

I did find that with designs this simple, you can just cut it out stencil style and use a marking pen (that washes out with water) to trace it, then stitch.

Now I have until Christmas to make the bags ... :)

ps - the pic at the top is of a piece of wheat I stitched to a notebook cover for a friend.

An Autobiography

2009-10-20T09:24:00.004-05:00

In church our preacher asked us to text in a two or three word title for an autobiography. The only rule - couldn't be "Jesus-y." :) Awesome.

My title was: Honestly Trying.

And I am. I combined a strong value of mine with my struggle. For a second I almost put "honestly disobedient."

Because that's true too.

But it seemed a little too harsh.

Because I do obey sometimes.

I struggle with following those little nudges that the Holy Spirit gives me. And it's an interesting struggle because it is always about me and wanting to do it my way. About my selfish desires taking precedent over a work God wants to do. As Paul says, I do what I don't want to do and I don't do what I do want to do (Romans 7:19).

Best example: The nudge pushing me to talk to a neighbor across the street. To just introduce myself. To give a smile. My response was to smile politely and go inside. Good enough, right God?

I found out several months later that the neighbors daughter had been raped in my house. That my neighbor's hurt was so raw and so fresh that she couldn't even look at my house.

I realized that Jesus wanted me to be a very small part of her healing and I had chosen to ignore that - as if my desire to get on with my day was more important.

And that's why I almost wrote "honestly disobedient." Because I still ignore those pulls and whispers. And even sometimes when I respond in obedience my heart is irritated.

And do you want to know the true paradox? I'm terrified to my core that some day those nudges will go away. That God will move on to find someone who is more obedient. I'll still be His - but I'll have stamped a big "no, I won't do it" on my forehead.

So then I make effort to be more obedient. To listen better. And the challenges come. And the frustration. And then - the thing I most desire happens.

I change.

A little bitty part of me gets cleaner. Clearer. I let Him wash it and allow His holiness into the dirtiest parts of me. And I thought I was doing something for Him. Turns out the blessing runs both ways.

Honestly Trying.

I think it fits.

Classic Moment

2009-10-08T13:38:00.004-05:00

I'm getting to the point in my life where my house can be cluttered when company comes. Even a little dirty.

Today while we had a neighbor and her baby over, I looked over into my den and saw the way the beautiful fall light was flowing into the room. The baby was laying on the floor and sweetly cooing to the light and making shadows with her hands. I was feeling peaceful. Even content. My neighbor and I chatted over homemade pumpkin rolls and coffee.

*sigh*

Until Abbie noticed the beautiful light. And the way it fell on the coffee table. More specifically on the dust on the coffee table. The dust was so appealing that while I was watching the beautiful baby play, my artistic daughter walked to the table and began making drawing out of the dust. The rather thick dust.

Nice. I guess I'm not as far along as I hoped I was. :)

Whiplash

2009-09-25T20:31:00.006-05:00

Sometimes it's amazing the way a 7 year old can move from one emotion to the next. And he's even a boy. Perhaps that is where my biggest surprise is from. I expected this from the estrogen soaked girls, but my even keeled son? Never in a million.

The same kid who can do third grade math will only give detailed descriptions of 3 specific things at school. 1. Recess, 2. Lunch, 3. Gym.

His concept of grace is better than most adults I know ("egraced" is how he says erased), but when asked if I could pray for him this morning, his response was gratitude that "tomorrow is Saturday and we don't have Bible stories EVERY morning."

The child who gleefully (and ignorantly) steps off the bus waving his middle finger at me also told a vulnerable kid who had been intentionally hurt that he knew his mom could take care of everything.

The calculator on an iphone absolutely entrances this guy, but he would trade all his money in his piggy bank for one day that was completely fair.

And this dear boy who slammed two doors at me this afternoon burst into tears at a video of himself as an infant.

We were all gathered around the TV watching the movie I had put together of Stephen when he was not yet 6 months old. The girls were cooing and giggling; Brian and I were misty eyed. Suddenly Stephen got up and left the room - crying.

"What is it buddy? Don't you like it?" I asked.

"No. Mom - I just like it too much," he sobbed.

"Oh. You feel special?"

"Yeah."

Whoa. I mean - whoa.

And suddenly I wondered if that's why there will be some tears in heaven (Rev. 21:4). That we'll like it too much. That the way God loves us overwhelmingly, intentionally, undeservedly will feel SO good. That the place He went to prepare for us will be so sweet and perfect. When the skin of this earth is peeled back and we see all that He is.

Yeah. I think I'll like it too much.

Stephen Jonah wk 1-4 from Rachel Smith on Vimeo.

Projects ...

2009-06-18T09:20:00.004-05:00

I've been sewing up a storm - especially since Brian let me purchase some things to organize my sewing room for Mother's Day. I LOVE making new stuff. Here are some of the things I've been working on/modifying:

A purse for myself.

The pleats on both sides were a fun challenge. I made it one long strap across the shoulders rather than the two short ones that the patter called for. I also added a C-clip for my keys, a magnetic fastner for my safety conscious husband, a few pockets for sunglasses and my phone, and a zippered pocket.

A Car Organizer

This is from a craftapple pattern (highly recommend her, btw - great patterns and instructions). I has a divider, 2 D rings to hold a trash bag, pockets for pens, cell phones, stuff. I splurged on some Amy Butler fabric and was SO in love with it (Nigella Collection). Beautiful and funky.

A Purse/Tote

I made this for one of Stephen's teachers. I added the webbing and snap across the top on a whim and ended up loving it. I'm planning on making a few more.

Little Artist Case

Made for a little boy who was a new big brother. I used a shoe-string for the closure, hoping it looked a little like a rope. :) I made my nephew Evan one just like it.

Re-usable Sandwich Bags

A new experiment. It's a special fabric on the inside called PUL - what they make re-usable diapers out of. It can be wiped clean or washed and dried on hot. It's sealed with velcro. I gave a few to a friend and am anxious to try some out this summer with fun fabrics on the outside.

Thanks for looking and following! I'm having a lot of fun - to the detriment of my cleaning and laundry. :) Brian's encouraging me to try and sell some things on etsy. Anyone have any experience with that? Makes me a bit nervous.

Abstract

2009-06-15T10:58:00.003-05:00

Abbie is our little artist. If you want to make her happy, give her a legal notebook (not sure why they are her favorites), a pen or pencil, and give her lots of praise.

We've noticed that she's starting to work on things a little more abstractly. Once she drew a picture of a red square on top of a blue rectangle. I asked her what it was - she said "red and blue" and looked at me as if I might be less than intelligent.

Here is her most recent drawing:

I asked her about what she drew, and she said "I drew sharing." No people, no objects. I looked at her a little confused - and once again, she pointed out that there were different colors.

Hmmm. I wonder if our nanny while we were in Tokyo, Melissa (a fantastic abstract artist), had anything to do with this. :)

Last Day of School

2009-06-12T09:28:00.008-05:00

So - after a LONG absence from the blogging world - I hope to be back. I've had several entries running through my brain and just lacked the time to put them down. Ready or not, here I come!

Most recent first:

Yesterday was the last day of school for my kindergardener. Seriously.

We've become good friends with our neighbors who have two girls just Stephen and Clara's ages. Kristin and I talked and decided to have a "happy summer break" party with the kids. The idea was inspired by my creative cousin Mary. The kids had a blast. Check out the results!

The work paid off. After Stephen got off the bus and was walking home, I noticed that his head was hanging a little low. I put my arm around him and he started crying. "Mom, I just loved kindergarden. I'm so sad."

We kept walking and made it to the back yard where the 'party' was waiting. He lit up with a big smile. That night when I asked what his favorite part of the day was (thinking his favorite part of the school day), he said "Oh, definitely the party, mom!" Score one for mom.

He is Risen!

2009-04-11T23:56:00.002-05:00

Happy Easter! I hope you enjoy this video I put together. It's to Phil Wickham's song, "True Love" on his "Cannons" album.

True Love from Rachel Smith on Vimeo.

Reload of Revelation 7

2009-03-22T19:54:00.002-05:00

So here's the video I made ... the last one uploaded goofy and I just realized it now! Sorry!

Revelation Chapter 7 from Rachel Smith on Vimeo.

Stephen - Crazy hair day at school

2009-01-23T12:38:00.000-06:00

Ask, Knock, Seek

2009-01-23T11:56:00.005-06:00

Speak from Rachel Smith on Vimeo.
At the mom's conference I went to last fall Cheri Keaggy was the worship leader. Now, I'm not really a fan of hers and I'm a little picky with my worship music, but ... Can I just say that the woman knocked my socks off! She was SO sweet and SO authentic.

One song she sang was called "Speak (the listening song)."

Women at my church have been meeting to pray every other Tuesday evening - after the Precepts class I teach. It has been the most amazing time.

There are no prayer requests. No sharing time. We just sit and pray together.

And I've come to realize what's happening.

When a group of women who love Him gather and together begin to knock at His door, when they persistently ask, seek... -

He opens the door! He SPEAKS! He is SO faithful to us!

You can feel His pleasure that His children are in agreement seeking to be with Him. It's unlike any other experience I have ever had.

Our little group of women will be increasing our meeting times to every week. We're hoping that our numbers will increase as well - because this opportunity HAS to be shared.

For Mom

2009-01-20T16:32:00.000-06:00

Untitled from Rachel Smith on Vimeo.

Fish Lessons

2009-01-14T17:50:00.005-06:00

A few months ago I was given a large reality check. Or should I call it a humility check? I wrote a blog after a fairly long, tiring day (ok, half day. I wrote it at like noon). It was a way to vent ... to be a little creative ... well, ok, I was complaining to an audience I considered fairly small (thanks for reading, mom).

In this blog I compared myself to a witch. Umm Hmm. I did.

In said blog I also mentioned that I had been to a recent mom's conference. And here's where the humiliation came in. The woman (author, notable speaker, pastors wife ...) who founded the conference READ THE ENTRY. AND COMMENTED. Ahhhhhh!!!! I could just envision her copying the link and sending it out to the prayer partners ... "here's a gal who really needs some prayer. ASAP." Oh my gosh. I've never been so embarrassed. *sigh*

I decided some serious prayer was needed. If God was graciously putting me in my place in such a public manner, maybe I had some serious pride issues going on. This girl got on her knees and begged Jesus to reveal weeds of hidden pride (it's always hidden, right? When's the last time you thought, "oh, I'm just so stinkin' proud!"?)

And He said to me:

Loaves and Fish, Rachel. What you have, anything you have, is the same as everyone else. You can come to me with your loaves and fish, and I will do miracles. I will multiply your gifts, talents, blessings in amazing, exciting ways. But remember - I will. Keep the focus on the miracle worker who gave you the loaves and fish in the first place.

Whoa. That's been ringing in my ears for 2 or 3 months now. He's the One. He's the giver of all things. I had developed a few small weeds and sweet Jesus gave me a weed puller.

Now here's part two.

This last week, an unexpected whisper came in my ear. Ready for it?

What are you doing with all your fish?
Rachel!
What are you doing with all your fish?

Uh. Whoops.

I got the weed out of my garden, but now I am sitting with a pile of 5,000 fish and bread - and if I don't use it the way it is intended, I'm pretty sure they will start to stink. And me with them.

Oh Lord forgive me. Is anyone else this slow to learn? Seriously! Does it take everyone else this long to learn lessons from Him? I am in a constant cycle - frustration at my slowness, then gratitude with His patience.

Now that He has shown me these lessons, I'm waiting for the application. (One other lesson I learned the hard way over a long period ... wait for His timing.) He's usually setting me up so that when I see the opportunity for obedience I won't miss is. So I'll keep praying, and waiting. And bringing Him every fish and loaf of bread He provides.

I'm hoping that you'll all tell me when I start to smell a little fishy.

Christmas Sewing Projects

2008-12-24T14:45:00.004-06:00

I found this awesome pattern on CraftApple. It was SO fun. These kids "artists case" are sure to be a hit with my three. And the reason I know is that I made them for our neighbor friends and Stephen said "wow, mom, Kate and Sarah are SO lucky." :) Can't wait till they open them tomorrow.

It's a little hard to see, but I monogramed Clara's initial the lower right corner.

Abbie's has her initial in the top, middle.

And Stephen, my baseball fan, was a little tricky. I wanted his to look like a guys so I made a patch with a TC (for the MN twins) and put it in the middle. That was a TON of work, but really fun to learn how to do. I also used suede shoelaces for the closure rather than the grossgrain ribbon I used on the girls.

Homemade Christmas Gifts

2008-12-24T14:40:00.002-06:00

It's been a while.

Here's what I've been up to.

the merry old land of Oz

2008-11-14T12:38:00.006-06:00

It's one of those 'full bowl of macaroni and cheese followed by a raid of my kids halloween bags during nap' kind of days. My kids probably feel like Dorothy, the Tin Man, and the Cowardly Lion (and the little dog, too!) chased by you know who.

You guessed it. It's chore day.

But what about those fantastic chore charts you ask? Yeah. Those are great - when I consistently enforce them. And I haven't. Clara can drag her feet like nobody's business, and Abbie can make this sound... it's indescribable, really. Stephen was actually pretty great at it until he realized that the girls are VERY effective at avoiding chores. Then he jumped on the 'it's not fair' wagon and deftly mimicked his sisters actions - adding some of his own noises of agony.

It's enough to make a mom want to sic flying monkeys on her kids.

So the perfect storm has occurred here in Oz. Whiney kids, fairness police, deflated and inconsistent mom, and a busy morning schedule. And here I am - silently thinking "I'll get you, my pretties!"

As one of my friends recently confirmed - what goes on in my head is ALWAYS written on my face. This is probably the reason that my kids are avoiding me. I should check the mirror and see if my face is green and my nose pointy.

The cure? You guessed it. Pray. It's so simple and so effective - why do I fight it? How can I forget it?

You might have noticed that I added a little link on my side bar - it's a picture of a little girl with a 7x7 on it. One of the blogs I check regularly (and have blogged about before) has written up 7 prayers of scripture that she prays for her kids 7 times a day. I'm pretty sure 7x per day will be way out of my reach, but it's worth a shot, right? Right?

Last weekend I went to a conference called 'Hearts at Home.' It was an amazing time. What an encouragement! One of the break out sessions was called 'Living the Promised Life' - by Susie Larson (also on my sidebar). Wow. The challenge to live a life of promise.

Hopefully praying over my kids - saying a blessing and a promise out loud to them daily (yes, even during these perfect storms of life) will help them embrace what God has in store for them.

And maybe, just maybe, it might keep me from melting every time a little rain falls. :)

Say Uncle

2008-10-06T13:06:00.003-05:00

Stephen and I were sharing our special Monday together today. The girls go to preschool in the morning so we do errands and something fun.

While at Target, Stephen was particularly interested in the bagging process while we were checking out.

Stephen: Mom - I think I've changed my mind. I want to be a bagger when I grow up.
Me: Oh. That's a pretty complicated job.
Stephen (surprised): Really? How?
Me: Well, you have to figure out which groceries go on the bottom, which ones might get squished - so you put those on the top... you have to be careful about where the meats go in case they leak ...
Stephen (with new respect): Wow.
Me: You know, your uncle David used to be a bagger.
Stephen: NO WAY.
Me: Yup. At the HEB in Texas.
Stephen: Wow.

Then, while at lunch at his favorite stop (Arbys, people. Arbys.) something brought Christopher to mind.

Stephen: You know, I can find a cul-de-sac in our neighborhood.
Me: Really? (I am pretty sure there aren't any on the streets we take)
Stephen: Yup. Christopher knows. He found it when he got lost one day.

When driving home from Arbys, he was looking at the new toy he got. It's a book on the pyramids in Egypt.

Stephen: Hey mom, they've got egypt writing on this!
Me: Cool! Your uncle Scott likes to read languages like that.
Stephen: Like the egypt letters? What do they call that?
Me: I'm not sure.
Stephen: Maybe Scott knows.
Me: Yeah. He likes to play detective with the languages that no one talks anymore. That way he can figure out what other people noticed about God's people. Like maybe the Egyptians wrote something about Moses that would give us clues about how Moses was used by God.
Stephen: Wow.

A few minutes later after a bit of silence...

Stephen: Mom, my uncles are pretty great.

Chore Charts

2008-10-03T13:12:00.005-05:00

What a drag, right? Seems like the chore chart becomes a chore for mom - and I don't need any more of those!

I was looking for something that was more work for the kids than for me. Something that they would have to be in charge of themselves. Teach a little responsibility, but keep it tactile enough for them to be successful. Am I the only mom that shudders at the thought of my 3 year old with a marker checking off her chores? Stickers? Much more than the chart would be decorated!

So here's what I came up with after scrolling through the internet FOREVER. It's a compilation of ideas - and as yet untested since it went on the wall yesterday. And - my 4 year old is testing her limits with said chores. But she's testing everything so why should this be any different? :)

First I thought of the jobs that they already do, but that I have to remind them of (remember, the goal is to help me get off their cases - I will add more responsibilities if this thing works.). On my computer I made a template for the "chore card," then, I found cute icons of the chores for my non-readers, and then added a character for each kid. Stephen has the Millenium falcon, Clara has Belle, and Abbie has Cinderella. My goal here was two-fold - 1. Get them a little excited about their little card, 2. Eliminate some creative job sharing. Mama's no fool.

Then each chore was taped to either yellow or green cardstock. Yellow for morning chores, Green for afternoon/evening. Each card was laminated, then I used the free tools at Archivers to punch holes in the cards and cut them to the right size.

I purchased these simple wood hangers with 4 knobs from Ikea for $2. Painted each with leftover paint from around the house, and bought letters for 1/2 off at Michaels.

On a side note, I also purchased these wood hangers for two of our bathrooms. I put button-holes in 4 kid washcloths and hung them on each knob. The kids use the washcloths like hand towels. They each have one and it has really cut down on the viruses that we share!

And here it is! A little ribbon from around the house, leather shoe-lace for Stephen, and some hot-glue to put it together. The chore hangs on the left side until they complete it - then they move it to the right side. In the morning they work until they get to the green cards.

My absolute favorite chore was a little surprise to me. As I was working at Archivers, I had a little light-bulb moment. I made Stephen and Clara both a card called "Ask". When they get to that card, they come find me, tell me what they've done for the morning/afternoon, and ask if there's anything else I need help with. Oh yeah, this is definitely my favorite card.

I'm pretty happy with how it looks and hopefully it works. Stephen had his done by 7:30 this morning. I doubt the enthusiasm will last, but it was worth one stress free morning!

Catching Up

2008-09-09T12:43:00.005-05:00

I unloaded the photo card the other day and realized how behind I am! Here's some of the last month (or two!)

Stephen's Birthday Party

Fun at the Twins Game!

Fun at Lebanon Hills

with friends and dad.

Trying out the two-wheelers

Stephen was successful ...

the girls will try again next year!

Our State Fair is a great State Fair!

Last summer Hurrah

at Lake Harriet!

Mr. Bob

2008-09-07T16:19:00.007-05:00

A very dear man from our church passed away early Friday morning. His struggle with cancer was a long and difficult one. He had lost almost complete function of his arms and legs, and gained excruciating pain.

Their family has 5 children, the youngest is just about Stephen's age. Mr. Bob would volunteer during the Wednesday night program in his daughters class - which is how Stephen came to know Mr. Bob. Bob came as long as he was physically able and loved the kids. Even when he was in his motorized wheelchair, he was there. And Stephen grew to love Mr. Bob.

When I heard Friday morning about Bob's death, I knew that God would have to guide Brian and I in our conversation with Stephen. This is a kid who cried when a character in "Adventures in Odyssey" died. It was going to rock his little world.

Friday night I prayed. I begged for guidance, and fell asleep knowing that the God who loves my kids more than I do would provide. Around 4 am on Saturday I woke up to Abbie crying. As I covered her up and checked on the other two, I suddenly just knew how I was going to talk to Stephen. God is so good to me, and so sweet to my kids. I love that.

As Brian flipped pancakes Saturday morning and we sat around the table, I pulled out 5 big rectangular pieces of paper and a box of crayons. I wrote Stephen's name on the top of the first one (in the requested green crayon), and drew a large oval. In the circle we wrote words that described Stephen as a person. "Kind." "Fun." "Smart." "Loves to be first." We did this for each of the family members. There was a slight skirmish over the purple crayon - but other than that the kids loved the exercise.

At the end, I held up my circle.
"Who is this circle?" I asked.
"Mom!" They replied.
"That's right! This is called my soul. It's who I am."

~ insert conversation on which letter soul starts with, how it's spelled, what their sheets of paper say, and how Abbie possibly has the most syrup ever. ~

"Souls live in bodies. Sometimes bodies die, and if that person loves Jesus, they get to go to heaven and get a new body!"
As I spoke, I held the picture in front of me, then moved it up into the air.
"I love Jesus!" Stephen exclaims - with thoughts of a new super baseball player body, I'm sure.

Now to the hard part ...

"Mr. Bob went to heaven to get his new body on Friday. He might even be running around in heaven right now without his wheelchair!"
"Really?" Stephen asked.
"Yup."
"His body here is empty now. And that's kind of sad because we won't get to see him again until we get to heaven," Brian said.

At this, Stephen seemed to understand the finality of Bob's death. His face got so sad. It truly breaks a parents heart to see their child mourn. I opened my arms, and with big sobs Stephen poured out his heart, first to me, then to Brian. We held him and cried with him.

On Wednesday morning we'll go to the memorial service for Bob. I'm sure we'll have to get there early as it will be packed. Bob truly was an amazing man who touched many. His service is planned to be a celebration of the gifts he received in his life and of the God he loved so much. I'd like to ask for your prayers as we show Stephen his first memorial service and will surely have more questions to answer.

You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.
- C.S. Lewis

First Day of Kindergarten!

2008-09-03T15:34:00.005-05:00

I am so not ready for this. Maybe I'm just not ready for the line up of kids heading off to school. A friend recently told me that the days are long but the years are short. It's a sad thing to know in my heart.

Me (to Stephen): Wow. I don't know, Stephen. All this is happening so fast. Are you really ready for kindergarten?

Stephen: Maaahhoommm. You know I'm ready.

Brian: Sure he's ready. Stephen do you know how to sit in the right spot at school?

Stephen: Oh yeah, and I can even find my name at a table. I can also find my locker.

Brian: Good! What would you do if you need to go to the bathroom?

Stephen: Oh, that's easy. I'll just raise my hand, and say 'can I go to the bathroom, please?'

Brian: Great! See mom, I think he's ready for Kindergarten.

Me: OK. I guess HE's ready - but there's no way I'm ready. Who will be my buddy in the afternoon? I'm going to miss you so much, Stephen, when you're gone.

Stephen: Oh, mom. It's just 3 hours. I'll be home every night - and I'll even stay home all day for two days.

He stopped to think a minute. Somehow he wanted to ensure that I would be alright.

Stephen (looking at his sisters): Girls, you'll just have to be as much fun as I am when I'm gone.

Clara was doubtful, Abbie began to internally scheme, and I'm realizing that my baby isn't a baby. Gosh, I love that boy.

Olympic Confussion

2008-08-18T10:06:00.003-05:00

Abbie watching olympic basketball:

"Umm, mom. Those guys are NOT sharing."

In the car, explaining to Stephen where India is:

"Oh yeah, I know those guys. They're in Cleveland. The Cleveland Indians."

Then later, after more explaining ...

Stephen: "So... is it where dad was last weekend?"

Me: "No honey, that's Indiana."

The other day we were convicted that we aren't telling the girls how smart they are. A conversation with Clara ...

Me: "Clara, you are so - "

Clara: " - cute."

Me: "Well yes, but I was going to say smart. I think you're really a smart girl."

Clara: "Oh. Well. I know that I'm smart."

Me: "How's that?"

Clara: "Well, when Abbie is mad at me, I can figure out why."

Blessed

2008-08-11T14:25:00.004-05:00

At our church annual meeting, the worship pastor asked about songs that are meaningful to us. He said he noticed that the church seemed especially responsive to the song "Blessed be the Name of the Lord."

Am I that transparent when singing?

Clara's birth and infancy was a stressful time for our family. Her labor was 3 days (no, I'm not exaggerating), Stephen was still a baby himself at 21 months, and Brian was in a dead sprint towards the finish of his Masters project. Clara was a great nurser, yet wasn't gaining any weight. At her 4 week appointment she was still less that 6 lbs - nearly the same as her birth weight. Looking back I also was probably facing some post-partum issues and directing most of my hormonal energy at poor Brian. Our house was messy, smelly, loud, and tension charged.

Enter - positive pregnancy test. Two babies in one year.

Brian heard my sobs from the kitchen and came around the corner. He lifted me from the floor, comforted me through his own shock, and left for work.

After a few deep breaths, I turned on the radio for a distraction. At that same moment, Brian turned on his in his car.

"He gives and takes away,
He gives and takes away,
My heart will choose to say,
Lord, blessed be your name."

It became my mantra. "He gives and takes away... my heart will choose to say." With one hand He was giving us an unexpected baby, with the other He was taking away our plans.

Then came the request to move to the other side of the world. Only 6 months, but 6 very big months in the lives of our little family. We would have a 2 year old, a 4 month old, and eventually give birth in Tokyo. Brian was given warnings of an intense work schedule.

"Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name."

We accepted in faith - and even excitement. (What can I say - we're a little nuts.) And He provided. And provided. And provided. We were allowed a nanny. For the first time ever, we didn't have any money worries and were able to save enough to purchase a van outright when we came home. Everyone was healthy. Brian's job was even strangely quiet during our 6 months.

"Blessed be your name
when the sun's shining down on me
when the worlds all as it should be
Blessed be your name."

I wish I was a quick learner. I wish I could say that I learned some great lessons while we were in Tokyo. That I had the perspective to see (as Sarah Groves says) that God was recycling my trials to bring me gain. That He was providing us abundantly to show that He can. That He is reliable. Dependable. Loving. Protective.

No. I didn't really get it. I had a glimpse. An inkling. To be honest, I was mostly just surviving through that time and working hard to make it through the day without a cultural disaster.

But now - when I hear that song. When I sing over and over...

"Every blessing you pour out
I'll turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in Lord
still I'm gonna say -
Blessed be the name of the Lord."

I learn something new. Each and every time, He shows me something new. Photos flash through my mind. Things that I didn't - couldn't - see. Perspective.

What a wonderful gracious God to continuously remind me of His love. To let me remember that he is My Rock and My Redeemer.

And I praise, and praise, and praise.

"Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name, Jesus.
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name."

Thinking ...

2008-08-08T13:34:00.002-05:00

A book I like to pick up every now and then is "A Man Called Peter", by Catherine Marshall (who also wrote Christy and Julie). Anyway, it's a wonderful story of a Scottish preacher whose style and personality reformed the way many thought a church service should look in the 30's and 40's. I love his perspective and his sense of humor. It's a great biography of his life in ministry as well as with his family.

Anyway, at the end of the book are a few of his sermons. Yesterday I picked up the book and skimmed one - and just can't stop thinking about a concept he talked about in a sermon called "Go Down Death". (it's a long quote - but he writes beautifully. I only wish I could hear it in his Scottish brough!)

Life begins at conception.
When that happens, two microscopic germs of life unite and become one - and a new man has begun the first stages of his existence.

In that living atom, there is in miniature every quality and capacity of the grown man -
his sex and size
the color of his hair and eyes
his temperament and intellectual ability
his own individual talent
and, in large measure, his character and destiny.

Now this first stage of life is purely physical.
It is a life lived in darkness, devoted wholly to the business of growing and preparing for the life to come.
...

The fact that these qualities are present and not used in this first stage of life is evidence that another kind of life will follow.

In due time, the child dies to the first stage of his life and is born into the second.
...
There is little immediate change in him.
He is born into the second form of life, but he makes a great gain.
He sees the light - is fascinated by it
follows it
blinks at it ...
His senses awaken and he can feel.
He can hear.
He can smell.
He is conscious of existence.

Soon he can move about and begins to discover and understand and enjoy the wonder world of his second life.

Now this second life is physical like the first - but it gives him a new capacity.
He can think.

For many years, he can enjoy an intellectual life
reasoning
planning
reflecting
learning
using knowledge to build up wisdom
making deductions
arriving at conclusions.
What then?
Does he wear out, and die, and live not more?

In this second form of life, as in the first, he develops capacities not required by his present existence.

In this present life, he needs no more than other animals. Are his highter qualities developed simply for the grave?

He dreams beyond his reach.
There is planted within him a deep longing for a golden tomorow when there shall be no more pain
nor crying
nor sorrow
nor death
nor parting any more
...

Something within us aspires to another life.
There is an intuitive longing - why?
Where did it come from?
Who planted it there?

Why do we doubt that we shall be born into a third form of life when we die to this one?

And why do we doubt that a kindly Nature,
or shall I not rather say a loving Father in Heaven,
will make that second birth as easy and as gainful as the first?

Wow. I'm really struck by this and am chewing on it.

Somehow I've always had the thought that heaven would be ... well, boring. But if a baby in utero thought that life would perhaps be boring - how terribly mistaken! I'll have to keep mulling over this one.

5 Stitches

2008-08-02T17:19:00.003-05:00

Last night Brian took Stephen to the ER to get 5 stitches in his eyebrow. My dad told him to say he got in a sword fight, but the truth is he ran smack into a table while playing a competitive game of tag/chase. Fortunately no concusion. He will probably have a good black eye, though.

Just in time for his Kindergarten screening - it will match the scabbed up knees and sunburned neck. They'll know right away that this kid isn't afraid to have a good time!

Say "oh yeah"

2008-07-11T22:02:00.004-05:00

Abbie got her hearing aid the other day. Her expression when they turned on the "microphone" was priceless. She's adapting remarkably well to the change and will go get her aid if there's something she really wants to hear - like the TV or a story.

Check out a video of her hearing here.

4th of July fun

2008-07-09T11:18:00.005-05:00

We had a great fourth of July celebrating with family. Scott, Anna, and Evan came into town - and Brian's parents and brother were in town too. The kids had a blast at a parade, the zoo, and just playing with cousin Evan around the house. Here are some fun pics.

Oh yeah

2008-06-18T13:09:00.002-05:00

Absolutely Perfect.

Say what?

2008-06-12T13:08:00.003-05:00

Most of you know that Abbie has some ear issues. She was born with a birth defect that falls somewhere between Canal Stenosis and Aural Atresia. Her left ear is tiny, the ear canal even tinier, and her ear bones are malformed. The good news is that somehow her left ear can still conduct sound, and that her right ear is completely normal. The bad news is that she has about a unilateral 40 db hearing loss.

We've been working with a specialist, her pediatrician, and the school district to find the best solution for Abbie. We've decided that for now we will try a hearing aid. Yesterday was her first fitting. Since she's still only 3 and they expect her ear to grow, she will have a BTE (behind the ear) aid fitted with an ear mold. We've decided to go with the Eleva, made by Phonak. As a special treat it comes in pink! If you know Abbie, you know she's got the spunk to pull off a pink hearing aid. :)

Stephen and Clara know that Abbie is getting a special microphone for her ear since her ear has the volume turned down. So far, Abbie feels pretty special about it all as she's the one who gets to play the games at the doctors office. Sometimes, though, it's tough for her to have to drop off Stephen and Clara at fun playdates. She's had many tests done by the school district to make sure that her hearing loss hasn't affected her vocabulary, speech, social skills, motor skills, etc. So far she's still head and shoulders above average and a spit-fire to boot. Lots of kids with unilateral hearing loss develop problems later in school once the background noise gets louder. Hopefully Abbie can avoid that heartache and be used to her aid by the time she gets to school.

Her ear form and aid should be in within the next 2 to 3 weeks - assuming that everything goes well with insurance and the fittings. Then we'll start a new era as a family - one where we can ALL hear! I can't wait!

Other peoples pain

2008-06-06T12:45:00.003-05:00

A friend recently told me to check out a bloggers website. I read it out last night and spent a good hour engrossed by her entries. She journeled about carrying and loosing her 4th baby. It's an incredible testimony and I'd urge the few of you who read this to check it out.

It amazes me that my soul can feel so connected to people I've never met. Maybe it's just the shared experience of being a mommy ... but I think it might be more than that. I think that it's the knowledge of the same truth, the life of the same Savior within us. She wrote that when the doctor told her that her baby would not survive, her response was ... "Jesus is the same as he was before I walked in here." My gut - my very soul acknowledged that truth with her. Even as tears of great sadness welled up in my eyes.

It's almost a guilty feeling to have my faith bolstered by someone else's tragedy. Who am I to take a piece of insight from someone's deep and devastating pain? But the hope lies within that shared faith. Within that observation of truth. How amazing my great God is to let me have a tiny piece ... to let this dear family share, be a light.

Her site is called "bring the rain". It's from a Mercy Me song. They lyrics are powerful and beautiful - especially when quoted by someone experiencing deep tragedy.

"Bring me joy, bring me peace,

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings you glory

And I know that there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise you,

Jesus, bring the rain."

Austin - land of warm weather and Resort Booth

2008-06-03T09:26:00.004-05:00

Stephen and I just got back from Austin, TX where we celebrated David's HS graduation.

David won a really nice camera at his senior party - and since he had gotten an even nicer camera as a gift from my parents, he let me buy the party gift off of him. The result is that I get to show you all some of the photos from our trip!

Traveling with a 6 year old

2008-05-30T22:26:00.002-05:00

The following quotes were all said by Stephen this morning to various travelers or airport employees as we were traveling to Austin, TX.

Did you know my mom got her toes painted yesterday?

I think I have a pretty good brain.

Did you know that Joe Mauer has the best batting average even though he hasn't hit a homerun?

(Playing a game with headphones on where he has to get various jewels for points)
Shouting: Hey! I got such a high score! And I didn't even get any red boobies! (he meant red rubbies)

Mom - I can sing like a computer would sing. Meeeeep, beep, meeeeeeep, etc.

Girls with Scissors

2008-05-29T22:53:00.002-05:00

It's too bad our camera broke.

I caught Clara giving Abbie a haircut this morning. It was in exchange for the cut Abbie had already given her. I think they were going for the inverted bob look.

Fortunately, it's not bad enough to need a corrective haircut.

Memorial Day Weekend

2008-05-28T08:15:00.003-05:00

This past weekend was a blur of fun activities. We had a neighborhood party — where we got to meet many in the neighborhood. An open house for my cousin — am I really that old? And friends over for a chilly grill out.

Unfortunately our camera broke this week so we don't have any fun photos of the events — so you'll have to use your imagination. One of the really fun things that spring is bringing with its occasionally warm temps is the blooming of our many gardens. It's a new surprise every day! My very favorite so far are the red/pink blooms on our rhododendron by the front porch.

I've been praying for HOT weather. This spring seems especially cool. Seems that God's answer is to send Stephen and I to Texas! We found some crazy cheap tickets yesterday and will be able to get down for David's HS graduation on Friday. I'm looking forward to the weather, the family, and especially some one-on-one time with my buddy Stephen.

HUGE blessings

2008-05-18T13:17:00.006-05:00

The other day Brian asked me "hey - what happened to your blog?" Good question. The short answer is "I've been dealing with my blessings." The following is the long answer ...

When we began the process of moving last year I started a sort of 'request list' of the things I was asking God for. At first, it was the things I wanted - and mostly the reasons we were moving. A room for each of the kids, a house where we could have friends and neighbors, a family-centered neighborhood, something that we could move right into, something close to a major road for Brian's commute. Then, I decided to really send in the requests. All those things I wanted in my heart but dare not ask. I felt like God said "Go ahead - try me." So with a little trembling, I did. I asked for an automatic fireplace, for a bar for my kids to have breakfast at, for a front porch, for a master bathroom, and maybe, if it's not too much, for a nice mud room (MN code for a place to take off all your snow gear when you walk in the house)? As we were prepping our house to move - mostly painting and staging, I prayed that someone would be doing the same in the house we'd be going to.

Sheesh. Be careful what you pray for! God granted my prayers in such a huge way. We were prepared to purchase a house that was within my 'wish list' and be very happy. God squashed that and provided us the one we have now. He answered EVERY prayer request - and then some. You honestly wouldn't believe the size of my mud room - it's part of an addition the previous owners did. And the front porch is a dream come true. Even Brian's commute was taken care of - we live within 2 lights of 35E, no light to 77 - AND our backyard neighbor has asked to carpool! Every detail about our wonderful house is a blessing - and it's so obviously a gift that we're often just giddy - like kids in a candy store.

So what does this have to do with my blog getting the shaft? Well, it seems the previous owners liked to be outside because this yard is FILLED with stuff. The backyard we actually don't have to mow because it's all landscaped - including - get this - a putting green. Yes, a putting green. It has me wondering - does God know we don't golf? :)

Since it's been SO nice out the kids and I are loving being outside and weeding, weeding, weeding. We've worked for days and days and are still only 1/3 of the way there. We're putting weed-stop down, planting some annuals, pulling out leaves, putting out woodchips, and did I mention the weeding?

So here are some photos of our wonderful gifts and some of the work we have done and some yet to do.

This is one we've weeded ... and since this photo we've put down 3 layers of newspaper and weed-stop. We just have woodchips left! (Which our city gives out for free, btw!)

Here's one of the backyard gardens. You can see we haven't weeded it yet. Brian's gotten almost all of the nasty leaves out, though!

Wilco

2008-05-01T09:00:00.005-05:00

Date night!

Last night Brian and I drove about 1 hour south to Rochester to see one of his favorite bands, Wilco. He was so excited! And I gotta confess, I was pretty thrilled to be getting out and enjoying the life of an adult.

The concert was great. I was impressed by the quality of the musicians. Sometimes you hear a CD of someone and then when they are live it's a little bit of a disappointment. Not the case here. Brian had made me a CD of their music, so I was able to recognize some of the songs ... but I would have liked it anyway. They are a pretty good group.

I guess Brian has good taste in many things. :)

Stephen

2008-04-29T08:54:00.004-05:00

As a mom, I feel a huge part of my job is to be an A+ student of my kids. And this isn't my original idea, I'm copying my heavenly Father as the best parent out there. He knows every detail of every kid of His (Psalm 139). So as I study my kids, I find it helpful to find a Biblical character to match them up to, and then see how God deals with them.

Stephen is a "Paul type". :) He's a by the book kind of kid. Type A, competitive, spirited, quick to learn, quick to speak - and will push, push, push. As an example, I asked him to set the table the other day.

Stephen: Mom, what do we need?

Me: Forks. Just forks tonight.

Stephen: I think that the adults might need knives.

Me: Yeah. Ok. 2 knives.

Stephen: And the kids will need spoons.

Me: No. We don't need spoons.

Stephen: Well, I'll just set them out.

Me: I said no spoons.

Stephen (after a while): Spoons would be just right for this dinner.

Me: No! Stop asking about the spoons!

(a while into dinner)

Clara: Mom, I really like to eat my rice with a spoon. Can I get one.

Me: *sigh* Go ahead.

So when I look at how God dealt with Paul, it is spectacular. He hit the guy with a blinding light, spoke to him with conviction, sent him to one he might have persecuted before to be healed. Sheesh! But look at Paul. He got it. In a major way, he got it. He turned his life around completely - in 3 days!

Since God has not given me the power to make a blinding light, we use flashlights. Just kidding. It is apparent that Stephen needs quick, decisive, reasoned answers to his questions. That the right parenting for him would be to directly assess his heart issue and speak to it clearly and with purpose. Anything else frustrates him and he swiftly looses his sweet and tender spirit.

The other parenting tip Brian and I have gotten from God's dealing with Paul is to be sure that Stephen is being taught truth. When Paul was Saul, he was taught truth with a twist. All the truth of God, and the elimination of Jesus as the fulfillment. Saul seized the twist and became one the most eager persecutor of Christians ever ... to the point of watching and ordaining stonings. Saul makes me tremble in fear as a parent. Brian and I are diligent watchers of what Stephen *thinks* he knows, helping him to process the millions of pieces of information thrown at him every day.

Of course there is not a 1 to 1 match up for our kids with biblical characters. It's just a tool we like and helps our story orientated minds. We're still learning ... and as soon as we get it, they change! Here's to trying!

Coming next ... Clara.

Dandelion Wine

2008-04-27T19:26:00.003-05:00

A friend of mine recommended the book "Dandelion Wine" by Ray Bradbury. I'm finding it an absolutely beautiful book.

Today, as we hung out inside because it's SNOWING - yes, snowing - I found a passage that brought me some hope.

Who was the fool who made January first New Year's Day? No, they should set a man to watch the grasses across a million Illinois, Ohio, and Iowa lawns, and on that morning when it was long enough for cutting, instead of rachets and horns and yelling, there should be a great swelling symphony of lawn mowers reaping fresh grass upon the prairie lands. Instead of serpentine, people should throw grass spray at each other on the one day each year that really represents the Beginning.

In our Precepts class we've moved into Hosea. As I long for the beautiful weather of summer, I find I'm looking at the nature verses a little harder. A few years ago in a conversation with my brother Scott, I remember him saying something like "there's just something about the land. I don't exactly know what, why, or how, but there's something about the way God loves the land." He's totally right.

Therefore the land mourns,
And everyone who lives in it languishes
Along with the beasts of the field and the birds of the sky,
And also the fish of the sea disappear.
Hosea 4:3

Oh the land. Sometimes it's the lack of something (in this case sunshine!) that makes me really appreciate it. I love the relationship that we have with the land - and I'm sad that the relationship has resulted in its downfall. I can't wait to see how wonderful it will be when it's back to it's original form. Until then, I'm certainly convicted to be a better steward, and to be truly thankful for the sun when it shines, and the precipitation (let's just call it that) that helps the grass grow to mowing length.

Deer Ticks

2008-04-24T16:35:00.004-05:00

Poor Clara has the worst luck.

Last year in July she started having very weird symptoms. It started with a rash, led to a constant low-grade temp, irritability, lethargy, and eventually joint pain. It took about 6 weeks, but she was finally diagnosed via blood tests with Lyme Disease.

It all seemed like a bad dream - a blip in her medical history, when we found another deer tick on her this morning. Brian and I tried to get it out of her and only succeeded in beheading the bug. We ended up at the pediatricians office where they extracted the head and gave us a prescription for antibiotics.

The doctor said "where do you live that she keeps getting these ticks?" The crazy thing is that we've moved between episodes! It ticks can have an attraction to anyone, it must be this girl. This summer we'll have to be on the lookout.

5 year old boys

2008-04-19T20:58:00.002-05:00

Me: Stephen, do you want to stay up and play with your legos for awhile?

Stephen: Mooooom. You don't play with legos ... you build with them.

Oh. I see.

Ode to Pajamas

2008-04-18T15:13:00.001-05:00

Clara got a small hole in her favorite princess pajamas. She was devastated. So sad. Fortunately, she got some princess Ariel pj's for her birthday from Noni. Noni to the rescue!

I have to say that I completely understand her sadness. My 'jammers' aren't as cute as Clara's, though. In fact, every summer as I look forward to bringing out my comfy pj's, and my dear husband threatens to hide them permanently. Why is it that the most comfortable clothes are the ones that are the least flattering? I agree with him that these are pretty gross, but I can't go without them. They go hand in hand with my exhale at the end of the day.

Anyway ... comfortable clothes will always be close to me. Unless Brian has his way . Or they make the cute stuff out of cotton.

Clara Beara Boo

2008-04-11T09:01:00.008-05:00

To my sweet girl who turned 4 last weekend ...

We love you! We love your beautiful smile, your beautiful heart, and your beautiful mind. Not only are you outwardly such a pretty girl, it's amazing to us how you put effort on having a

n attractive spirit. "Mom, I shared, that makes me beautiful, right?" "Mom! I know a kind word I could say!"

We love your thoughtful nature. Your literal acceptance of everything. "Mom, it must be Sunday. The sun is out." "Mom, that wasn't a bad dream. It was an awful dream."

And we love having you in our family. You get along with your brother and your sister so well. Your gentle and non-competitive spirit have kept peace in our house, and kept your dad and I proud.

As you grow in so many ways, our prayer for you is that Jesus continues to "opens the eyes of your heart so that you can know the hope He has called you to" (Ephesians 1:18). And we want you to know that "we thank God every time we remember you." (Ephesians 1:16).

What ails me

2008-04-10T14:38:00.008-05:00

One of the little things that God is constantly teaching me about is comparison. It's a little habit I found myself engaging in and it spread like a wild fire. Pretty soon it became second nature.

I think it started with my first baby. Oh how difficult it is to not compare notes on first smile, first time sitting, first word, first tooth ... how long did you nurse ... when will you loose that baby fat... on and on. Then it moved to behavior. Does he obey? Is he kind? Will he share? Why is that mother so put together? Why is that baby so easy? Why does this seem to come naturally to everyone but me?

It was mostly about children at first. Then, as I relaxed (a little) about that, the comparison spread to other areas. Houses. Time management. Cleanliness. Clothes. Body image. Talk about a nasty cycle. And here I sit, typing this list, shaking my head at my own stupidity.

As the effects rippled through my family, my thought life, my friendships, I knew something had to give. But how? Changing a thought pattern is so difficult!

When I went on a retreat for moms last fall, something finally clicked. One of the speakers said, over and over,

Comparison kills contentment.

And it has become my mantra. As I occasionally slip, ok - not so occasionally, I have found help in this saying. Then I turn it over to my good shepherd, Jesus, he helps me back to my feet, and gives me victory. Hallelujah. Contentment in the gifts I have - the many many blessings.

Lions and Lambs

2008-04-03T22:12:00.008-05:00

I'm going to miss out on the church baby shower this Saturday (it's Clara's birthday and Stephen's school carnival), so I volunteered to make the corsages. Lots of times these include cute things like pacifiers, baby socks, little candies. Since there are some kids who are adopted and a little older, I thought it'd be fun to make little finger puppets. And I guess I've been a little saturated by the books I'm reading lately (Amos for Precepts, and A shepherd looks at Psalm 23) because they ended up being Lions for the mom's of the boys, and Lambs for the mom's of the girls.

Turned out pretty cute, right? The Lambs were a wreck until I called my super talented artist friend Melissa. She gave me some GREAT suggestions and it helped a ton. The absolute best part of this project was the smile on my husbands face when I told him that I did the entire thing from scraps and therefore cost NADA. :) I hope that the ladies like them!

Jehu

2008-04-03T12:01:00.003-05:00

My hunk of a husband, Brian, loves to get "word of the day" emails. Occasionally he forwards one to me. When I was studying to give a history lesson on Kings and Chronicles, I got this one ...

New status

2008-03-30T16:54:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I achieved my highest level of status in my daughters eyes. I knew all the words to a song in The Little Mermaid. They looked at me as if they had never really known me - like "who is this fabulous mom who knows all the princess songs?"

I think I'll hold on to my Beauty and the Beast repitoure and really wow 'em.

I wish it was always that easy.

Potty Training

2008-03-28T16:58:00.002-05:00

I am the worst at potty training. Absolutely wretched. My patience goes from 10 to 0 in no time when my kids have an accident. Fortunately I'm aware of this defect in myself and try very hard to compensate. Today I got a good test.

Abbie is in gymnastics. We signed her up as a birthday gift this year and she loves it. Stephen and Clara and I color and read books while she tumbles to her hearts content. Then came that dreaded call. You know, that time when the teacher opens to door and scans the 20 or so parents, holding my soaked child at an arms distance. "Abbie's mom!" she practically yelled. I hoped up and grabbed Abbie. In my desire to quickly get her to the bathroom, I was quite un-strategic and stuck her butt under my arm. Yup, soaked my shirt with pee. Great.

Once she was cleaned up and back in class (I did hold it together, no fussing at her), I sat down in my pee shirt and proceeded to finish coloring with Clara and Stephen - trying to ignore my wet arm and the lingering odor. My dear friend, Teresa, loaned me a shirt at our lunch playdate. All was well.

I still can't wait until potty training is done.

Friends with cameras

2008-03-27T13:55:00.003-05:00

Today we went to my friend Ali's house to get their portraits taken. It's an amazing benefit to have a friend who is also a talented photographer. Check out her page here.

Anyway, while we were there she graciously handed me a CD with these photos she took while at our house dying Easter eggs. I love looking at the pictures she takes because they almost make me feel like I'm there again. I can hear their giggles, and even feel their little squirmy bodies when I was tickling them. The picture of Clara at the top captures her so clearly. She fully experiences all details - even the sun coming in the front door. One picture of Stephen that I couldn't get up is fantastic - it's his 'thinking' face. It's like looking at gears in motion.

These pictures make me more in love with my kids, if that's possible. Maybe I just love them more because they are sitting still!

A long time ago I was talking to my mom about this overwhelming, crushing love I have for my kids. It is usually followed by a trembling fear that they someday might encounter something I can't fix. Nightmarish things like kidnapping, abuse, disease, disaster. I told my mom that it's hard for me to give my kids up to the Lord's plans for them when I know that those plans might include pain. Mom (with much wisdom, as usual) said that moving from a reluctant prayer of "here, God, please be gentle," is fine, but the real peace comes when you find joy in giving your kids over completely to His protection, His plans.

Today is the first day I felt a twinge of victory in this area. My first glimpse of joy, peace even, in completely letting go of my 'mama bear' instincts.

Easter Poses and Runny Noses

2008-03-23T15:28:00.005-05:00

Easter Sunday! Our girls are wearing dresses that my grandmother smocked for me and my sister. I'm amazed that they are on their second generation of wearers. Also amazed that Abbie waited until 2 minutes after these pictures to pee her pants... er tights. Hope the dresses make it through the Smith girls!

Easter was great this morning. It's a sort of spiritual new year for me. What have I done with my redeemed life? What will I do this year? My pastor pointed out this morning that we were condemned when Jesus saved us, that he didn't walk in and point to me and say, "Hey, Rachel, follow me or else I'll condemn you." That I was sitting in my own condemnation, that He walked in and said - "Want out?" I said yes a long time ago - but just like anything am constantly re-evaluating how it's going.

Second day of Spring?

2008-03-22T23:10:00.002-05:00

Good Friday?

2008-03-21T22:52:00.003-05:00

We just got home from a "Good Friday" service. I saw multiple clips from the movie "The Passion of the Christ." This was the first time I had seen any of the movie (for many reasons, most of them having to do with my raging hormone levels while pregnant).

Wow. Wow.

Smith or Booth

2008-03-20T14:33:00.003-05:00

It's kind of fun to see the different way my kids think. Even more fun to watch them act like Brian or me. Here's one example:

On a car ride with Stephen and Clara, we were talking about a new toy Stephen got in a gift bag. It's on of those little sea creatures toys that you submerge in water and watch it grow over a period of days. Stephen was realizing how the toy grew.

"Oh, I get it mom. The octopus is ABSORBING the water. And when it ABSORBS the water, it gets bigger. That's why it grows, and that's why you had to add water. AND, that's probably why it's squishy now. Wow. It's ABSORBING it. Right, mom?"

If you don't know, that's a Smith answer. Fully developed from beginning to end, detailed, and explained accurately from every possible direction.

Clara piped up with the Booth answer:

"Yup. Just like sand."

She stuck it out there, let it stand on its own, and walked away. :)

Jury's still out on Abbie.

A worthy title

2008-03-19T22:04:00.001-05:00

My first post! Wow!

I guess I'll start by explaining my blog title. Last year I taught a life changing class on the book of Hebrews. I was absolutely fascinated by its depth and intensity. As I went through and tried to piece it together, it felt like a game of jeopardy - so many answers to questions I'd never thought to ask! The challenge of the book ignited in me a new, fresh love for scripture and what it could say to me. I hate to say it, but the Bible had become boring to me. A symptom of my stagnant relationship with Christ to be sure.

Since God had appointed me to teach this class, I knew that He was assigning me personally to dig in deeper than I would have under any other circumstances. The work load almost put me under. Gradually I fell in love - in my case, head over heart in love.

Hebrews 6:19,20a says "This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil, where Jesus has entered as a forerunner for us ..." Amazing. My hope, my salvation, is anchored in the throne room. To me, this is absolute freedom. I can step out in faith an know without a doubt that my anchor with hold fast. I can ask questions, wonder, hope, be confused, not understand, ask, ask, ask, and my anchor will hold fast.

And so it has become a verse I cling to when I get tossed by the waves of this world or my own fears.