What ails me

One of the little things that God is constantly teaching me about is comparison.  It's a little habit I found myself engaging in and it spread like a wild fire.  Pretty soon it became second nature.  

I think it started with my first baby.  Oh how difficult it is to not compare notes on first smile, first time sitting, first word, first tooth ...  how long did you nurse ... when will you loose that baby fat... on and on.  Then it moved to behavior.  Does he obey?  Is he kind?  Will he share?  Why is that mother so put together?  Why is that baby so easy?  Why does this seem to come naturally to everyone but me?

It was mostly about children at first.  Then, as I relaxed (a little) about that, the comparison spread to other areas.  Houses.  Time management.  Cleanliness.  Clothes.  Body image.  Talk about a nasty cycle.  And here I sit, typing this list, shaking my head at my own stupidity.

As the effects rippled through my family, my thought life, my friendships, I knew something had to give.  But how?  Changing a thought pattern is so difficult!  

When I went on a retreat for moms last fall, something finally clicked.  One of the speakers said, over and over, 

Comparison kills contentment.
Comparison kills contentment.
Comparison kills contentment.

And it has become my mantra.  As I occasionally slip, ok - not so occasionally, I have found help in this saying.  Then I turn it over to my good shepherd, Jesus, he helps me back to my feet, and gives me victory.  Hallelujah.  Contentment in the gifts I have - the many many blessings.  


Reflecting His love said...

So when I was reading your note I kept reading "compassion" instead of "comparison"... yeah that didn't make sense!
I like that phase though, I understand the comparison thing, more so with co-workers than with my kids (obviously!)
I LOVE the picture by the way!

Rhesa said...

What a wonderful lesson for our Savior to teach us! You're right, it all boils down to who do we truly desire to please and serve. Do we love ourselves and all the desires for self glory that come with it? Do we love 'man' and desire to please him most? Or do we desire to please God most and make our whole lives centered around giving Him glory? Thanks for the post! Good food for thought.